First of all, November is here and I am completely excited since my birthday is in November. (29)
I am very thankful for one more year of life. This time in my life I have been going through very drastic changes that have changed my ways, they have changed how I view the world. You know I am all about the love, pink ribbons and rainbows. Then I got life happened, I was pushed to face my own fears! Who pushed me?? Myself. I pushed with all the force I could so I could hit hard on the floor, but not so I wouldn’t get up, but hard enough so I could wake up.
You may wonder how is it that someone that is in a path of spirituality, be in that path and still go through those moments in life. Well, let me tell you that once you start in this path it doesn’t get easier it get’s harder and you will be faced with challenges that I have come to see as blessings. This great blessing that I received about 3 weeks ago has shaken my entire self, it brought myself to my knees and be humble in a way I didn’t know I could be humble. I had to look myself in the mirror and see what I was not doing, what I was not recognizing about my self. I thought that I had it all together and then BAM! I didn’t, I was not being my authentic self, I was not being responsible for myself, I was getting stuck in a moment in time. Yes, the past. I was living in the past with expectations from the past, and that I come to realize that are not real at all.
Life is not what Disney, Soap operas, Hollywood movies, reality shows, or even your neighbor life looks like. They have romanticized the idea of the ideal family, friendship, relationship, woman, man, house, car, life, etc should be like. I totally bought into in, I started making monthly payments since Cinderella came around. I thought that, that was how life should be for all women and if it wasn’t like that then they were not going to live a happily ever after.
I was so wrong, and I have to face the music now, even though that was not the song I downloaded. Life told me to CHANGE, and for the better, I just didn’t see it at first. At the beginning I was so mad, I was hurt and blaming others, then I realized that maybe it’s not the others, but maybe me. Now I see that I have to be responsible for my part, that it’s not all entirely me but I did take part of it.
So, change can be painful, and bring tears to your eyes at different periods of the day, and it can make you feel scared, and lost at moments. Since change can bring new things to your life, it can bring fear, and I have learned that fear it’s a guide, yet it should never ever lead the way, you should never based your decisions on fear. I did that, I decided based on fear, and I wished I didn’t have, but it taught me a great lesson, I am thankful, but I know that next time I can learn my lessons without letting fear lead the way.
Change is good, I am very happy that I realized all of the things that I was not doing and that there is always room for improvement. Change makes you a better person and stronger, it motivates you to go forward and more prepared, change is a blessing in disguise of fear.
Even thought this past week have felt like growing-pains they brought me back to life, and to my present moment. I am very willing and excited to be the best on whatever I take on.
I send love to all, and Don’t forget to smile because the Universe loves you
( and he has an amazing plan for you)